Saturday, January 25, 2014

Ok so this has been on my mind for a while now and so I figured I would just write a blog. My very first one! I know I say this a lot but speaking my mind is not my strong point, so I started making youtube videos to get over my fear of #1 Speaking to the public, #2 Getting over the fear of what people may think, #3 Releasing old beliefs I have of myself. I believe we have to try a lot of different things even if they can be embarrassing, or scary for you, in order to figure out who we really are. I feel this approach isn't so much for me. I was forcing myself to keep making videos even though it felt so unnatural. I go through life by feeling and sensation, I flock toward things that visually stimulate me, music, and expression through my clothes, or through the way I feel like dancing, really anything and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I realize that I cant keep up with all the new spiritual realizations, videos and classes and all that fun stuff while you have a family life too. It gets to be very overwhelming for me, and I get over it, yes me, but I do know that even though I don't keep up with it all, I follow my own clock and I don't ever seem to be too far behind, my intuitive abilities go way back. Anyway like I was saying I am naturally not a person that is good with my words when put on the spot. My thought stream operates quite differently. I really look up to those who can just get it out like no problem, but that's not me. To say that i'm never going to make youtube videos again would be a lie because I do get those moments when I can speak naturally and say what my heart wants to say. I've been doing a lot of inner work lately and I'm finding out who I am a little more each day. I go through battles of being in my own world to being here now and grounding myself, but while I was up there lol I saw myself in a new lense to start growing. I am very fluid that's just what comes natural to me and flowing in no particular order is what gives me a lot of excitement haha. I am a gypsy at heart that loves all things circus, to science, and spirituality, I love blissful states, it's my kryptonite. Considering all that, my videos will be more fluid and on the colorful side.
On another note... I like to take care of myself, mind, body, and spirit yes but hey I'm human I have a little rebel in me that I like to feed too haha and if I feel like being wild sometimes then that's me and my evolution and my heart does not feel uncomfortable about it. I roll with people from all different walks in life and that's me. I believe in living life a little more colorfully weather it's roller skating down the street with a blue wig, sewing, painting, doing healings, hula hooping, passing out random notes to people with kind words, or make weird expressive videos with no words, to me that sounds like fun I want to inspire people to live their life however the hell they want ;) It's all about YOU. How do you like to express yourself? Decorate to your liking! I'll never deny my starseed roots but I'm still learning my dance.